'IGHT, FLOKS

 PROBABLY NEXT TO NO ONE VIEW THIS, BUT IDC.

This Birb literally just realized now that this would be a great space for my rants, complaints, opinions, overflow of emotions and etc.! So I do want to warn that I do sometimes exaggerate (unless it's a serious thing for me), but thankfully not all the time, especially with things that are serious. Or at least to me, that is.

SO HERE'S WHAT I SAY A LOT:

• I have a habit of being very depressing, especially now that I'm cooped up in my den. My mental health drags me down a lot so...yeah...
• I complain. A lot.
• I share my irritation and/or angry moments to calm myself down, so please be aware that some words may just be a spur of the moment kind of thing. That's not common, though. Most of the time it's my genuine feelings that I've held inside for a long time.
• Sometimes I ramble.
• I am passionate about my Naruto lore but I hate Boruto. I will go on for literally hours on how much I hate that ungrateful brat. My mum knows this first hand.
• I talk a lot about my OCs (original characters), so please forgive any of my gibberish.
• And probably a lot more. Idk, my brain is bad when I'm put on the spot.

 

Ooh, my posts will now end with this logo I've made from Cooltext.com. Check it out, it's amazing! I use it all the time, especially for my OCs! (This logo will have colours that go similar to the colours of the background of the blog. Idk, I'm weird like that.)

Uuuggghhh

 So- dkjaelgk my brain blanked out. I literally forgot what I was about to write.

LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN.

So a few days ago I decided with the help of a friend that I should have a week-long break from a site in particular. The reason? I'm burning out. My creativity? Dying. I'm not sure what to do about it to try and revive it... There's so many collabs I'm doing that I'm still thinking I'm dropping because of the lack of activity on either or all sides. Or simply because they don't interest me anymore, which is most of them, tbh... I should ask if the other person is going to participate in it anymore or not... It's hurting my feelings that they seem to be ghosting it, even though I'm 98% sure they're not. I need to know if it's ever going to happen or not... In one of them, I need help with deciding on what my character's accident should be in order for him to have a vision, but they never responded to it... So I'm questioning if they're actually interested. Another collab that is a favorite of mine is one that the other wants to do but never goes through with... I wait. And wait. I've been waiting for a total of 3 months now, and I'm sick and tired of waiting for them.

So I'm going to set a rule with collabs with me. If one wants to do a collab with me and gets me all excited about it, and suddenly you just never talk about it again, they'll have to give me an explanation on why. I'm tired of being hurt by all of this. You're all doing collabs with everyone else, and it goes through successfully...but you ignore all the ones you're doing with me? It's not fair. Why are you doing this to me? Promising to do a collab but never acting upon it when I ask something, or when I have finished my character, but you never get to yours? I mean, I understand we all have out own lives, but you're all always working on other characters and finishing in a matter of days. This is cruel. You all say you love my characters, and are hyped to do a collab with me with the character that you claim to do a collab with... Why? Why are you making me feel like your just leading me on? It's not fair. I'm not going to let my happiness and effort go to waste. Not anymore. You get to see how happy I am, that I'm putting all my focus and time into that collaboration... Why are you making me wait after months of seeing you start collaberations with everyone else and finishing those characters before the one you promised me? I tell you when I'm stuck or why I'm slow on anything to do with my half of the collaboration. It's only fair to tell me why you're not contributing back.

Anywho, continuing with the rest of my break thing.

It was also destroying my sleep. Instead of my normal 1 or 2 am, it was 6 or 7 am. That's not okay. It was also because I was tired of seeing someone say hello to me, I reply, and then I never get a response. Ever. I wait, and wait, and wait for something back. I've waited months. I've even tried contributing into conversations! I tried multiple times each day! You're busy with your life, I know that, but when you all claim to like talking to me, but then when I try to talk and you end up looking over me? You look like you're lying to me in my eyes. I love you guys, your my best friends, and you guys know I literally can't lie about that. I have an extremely hard time trusting others.

It's getting so bad that I always feel like deleting my account. It seems like you'd all be better off without me anyways. From how you all treat me when I clearly state that I am in need of talking to someone and when I actually admit to needing help with something, just ghosting over me isn't helping your case of saying you're not lying when you say you care. I've cried over this and it hurts bad enough that self-harm feels like a way of relief. Of course, I'm too stubborn to break my promise to myself, so don't bother worrying about the self-harm bit. It would be nice to not feel the desire to, though.

Welp, I guess I needed to get all of that off my chest...

- Birdsong231

I Discovered the Best Way to Relieve Stress

Today I realized something that will change my life for the better.

 

Stress is a horrible thing. Do you know what makes it worse? Waiting. Waiting on whatever is making you stressed will only get worse in the long run. Never make it wait. It'll damage you mentally, physically, and even emotionally. I've been stressed for a long time, since I was a young child. I come from a financially challenged family, so I've had to learn some things the painful way. But today, I have decided to end one part of my large list of stress causes, and it has made me feel so much lighter.

 

So I advise to anyone who will ever read this post, please do not let stress sit. The pain grows every single day.

I'm safe

I forgot that last month I planned to post the I'm safe and healthy! Covid-19 has not attacked any of my family, as far as we know. School in public has closed down, but it's still up online. It won't help my mental health, though. Last month I was so depressed that I got close to harming myself... This isn't doing well with my anxiety and depression.

Well, I'll do my best to check in just in case there is someone who reads my blog, which I doubt. ;u;

Minecraft -- Building

I honestly prefer to make the “box” look. You can make it look good without spending hundreds of hours doing a difficult look that may look absolutely awful the creator’s opinion. I can’t stand trying to make detailed houses, because I like simple but elegant. Wood? I like to match the most similar looking wood together. Adding windows, maybe different block-type walls, makes it a bit more interesting. (I can never add metal. I can’t stand it. It actually hurts my eyes.)

I’m a perfectionist, though. I can’t do the, again in my opinion, “disorganized” look some people prefer. I will go insane if I try to do that, because I will ultimately destroy it completely and start over how I prefer. Some of the designs interests me, but the roofs(?)? They make me cringe because both, or more, sides almost never look the same. That’s why I choose to do a few layers of slabs and/or stairs. I mentally and emotionally can’t stand it. This game is about personal creativity. I plan to make a better looking type of builds, but I just can’t do some designs people like because of my perfectionism. Perfectionism doesn’t mean perfect to everyone else’s eyes. It means it looks perfect in their own eyes. Me? I don’t care what others think of my creativity. (Unless, y'know, it’s art irl…)

I like to have these simple details:
- A “box” look. Not everyone likes the “I have way too much time on my hands” look.
- Four to five block tall outside walls. Width depends on my mood.
- Windows. Windows everywhere. (Although if the spaces in between each window cluster don’t match, I will add more space in the main structure.)
- Double doors.
- If I have the time and right mood, make a slab and/or stair roof.

 Overall, my perfectionism with the main structure gives so much space that I have absolutely no clue how to use it. That’s why I try to make it as small as my poor self can allow. If there isn’t enough space on the main floor, I simply add another.

In drawing, most people like my style of doing things. Some even try their hand at my style, which makes me feel so honored!

Little Teapot but it's a Duckling instead

This is what happens when it's quiet, you leave me alone, and don't give me anything to do. And I'm so tired I can't really think right. Please send sleep to this tired Bird...

I'm a little duckling, short and stout
Here are my wings, here is my beak
If I get all steamed up, hear me quack
Leave me alone and let me swim

GUYSGUYSGUYSGUYSGUYS

I'M FINALLY OVER 100 POUNDS
IT TOOK TEN YEARS
BUT I FINALLY GOT IT
103.6 LBS

That's basically all I wanted to say. Because that is extremely important to my, tbh.

Forks

Me: *grabs yogurt* *looks through cutlery drawer*
Me: No teaspoons, huh? I don't like using tablespoons...that's a last resort...
Me: *looks slightly to the left* There's a ton of forks here...
.
.
.
Me: *grabs fork* I've done it before, and I can do it again. I want this yogurt.


Yeaaah, I actually did use a fork. There were no teaspoons. ;-;
The fork idea actually worked, tho. o.o Better than a spoon. Maybe I'll use a fork next time on purpose?

Downloaded Spotify

Just as the title says, I have downloaded Spoitfy again and holy crap. The nostalgia I'm expereincing right now is insane. I love it!! I forgot how much I love the songs I've got on my main playlist, "Current Favorites". I still love them all, and I'm happy to add some more songs that I absolutely LOVE right now!! YEEEEEE!!!

Brain, please stop

I was hiking today, and on the way back down, I realized something… Zombies are an oxymoron. Zombies are dead people, yes? And they are also alive. Living dead people. LIVING and DEAD. Why does my brain think of such random things when it’s allowed to think? This happens all the time when I'm taking a bath... Every. Single. Time.